Adventures in Bureaucracy
Friday, April 28, 2006
I've been with the government for what seems like forever and with DHS from the very beginning, but there's still so much I don't know. For instance, reading through the paper today, I found out that DHS has -- wait for it -- a mascot, and he's being introduced to the public next week.
He's called Rex the Mountain Lion. I guess there were copyright issues with Chicken Little. Ba-DUM-bum!
But seriously, folks, I wonder where this one came from. Smokey the Bear and Woodsy Owl make sense for the Forest Service, being woodland creatures and all, and McGruff the Crime Dog fits, just another hard-boiled guy from the K-9 squad, but a mountain lion named Rex? What's the connection to disaster preparedness? And I don't like this one on aesthetic grounds, since a four-syllable animal word doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. I would have gone for a shorter word and maybe some alliteration, like Pete the Puma or Casey the Cougar. Not that I was consulted on this, so there you are.
Rex at Ready.gov -- hey, maybe that's the alliteration -- he's got a website that probably gets more traffic than this one ever will. And I find it really, really disturbing. Not the traffic thing, I can live with that, but Rex and the family. Anthropomorphized animals generally creep me out, and this batch really gives me the willies. Maybe it's just that the cat's in a hat, and not a tall red-and-white-striped clubwear hat either. Maybe it's the back stories about the family that makes it look like DHS is going to come out with a series of children's books ("Rex the Mountain Lion Meets Osama the Ocelot" would be a good one). Maybe it's because if things go wrong and people actually DO have to head for the hills, Rex and Purcilla would probably eat them.
He's called Rex the Mountain Lion. I guess there were copyright issues with Chicken Little. Ba-DUM-bum!
But seriously, folks, I wonder where this one came from. Smokey the Bear and Woodsy Owl make sense for the Forest Service, being woodland creatures and all, and McGruff the Crime Dog fits, just another hard-boiled guy from the K-9 squad, but a mountain lion named Rex? What's the connection to disaster preparedness? And I don't like this one on aesthetic grounds, since a four-syllable animal word doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. I would have gone for a shorter word and maybe some alliteration, like Pete the Puma or Casey the Cougar. Not that I was consulted on this, so there you are.
Rex at Ready.gov -- hey, maybe that's the alliteration -- he's got a website that probably gets more traffic than this one ever will. And I find it really, really disturbing. Not the traffic thing, I can live with that, but Rex and the family. Anthropomorphized animals generally creep me out, and this batch really gives me the willies. Maybe it's just that the cat's in a hat, and not a tall red-and-white-striped clubwear hat either. Maybe it's the back stories about the family that makes it look like DHS is going to come out with a series of children's books ("Rex the Mountain Lion Meets Osama the Ocelot" would be a good one). Maybe it's because if things go wrong and people actually DO have to head for the hills, Rex and Purcilla would probably eat them.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Homeland security grants sponsor puppet and clown shows.
I'd make a joke about headquarters here, but it would just be too easy.
I'd make a joke about headquarters here, but it would just be too easy.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Stopped off at Borders after work to look around and saw something kind of mean. They had a new DVD available - a Liza Minelli performance, "Liza with a Z".
It was stocked with the cartoons.
It was stocked with the cartoons.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Good thing this would never happen in the United States.
Well, almost never. Rarely. Practically nil.
Hardly at all?
Well, almost never. Rarely. Practically nil.
Hardly at all?
Sunday, April 16, 2006
It's too nice a day to spend thinking about politics and the increasingly grim tidings on the international front, but this is funny:
You know what's great fun to do if you're on, say, a flight from Chicago to New York and you're getting a little bored? Why not play being President Ahmadinejad? Stand up and yell in a loud voice, "I've got a bomb!" Next thing you know the air marshal will be telling people, "It's OK, folks. Nothing to worry about. He hasn't got a bomb." And then the second marshal would say, "And even if he did have a bomb it's highly unlikely he'd ever use it." And then you threaten to kill the two Jews in row 12 and the stewardess says, "Relax, everyone. That's just a harmless rhetorical flourish." And then a group of passengers in rows 4 to 7 point out, "Yes, but it's entirely reasonable of him to have a bomb given the threatening behavior of the marshals and the cabin crew."
OK, perhaps "funny" isn't quite the right word for it.
You know what's great fun to do if you're on, say, a flight from Chicago to New York and you're getting a little bored? Why not play being President Ahmadinejad? Stand up and yell in a loud voice, "I've got a bomb!" Next thing you know the air marshal will be telling people, "It's OK, folks. Nothing to worry about. He hasn't got a bomb." And then the second marshal would say, "And even if he did have a bomb it's highly unlikely he'd ever use it." And then you threaten to kill the two Jews in row 12 and the stewardess says, "Relax, everyone. That's just a harmless rhetorical flourish." And then a group of passengers in rows 4 to 7 point out, "Yes, but it's entirely reasonable of him to have a bomb given the threatening behavior of the marshals and the cabin crew."
OK, perhaps "funny" isn't quite the right word for it.
Even after two thousand years, the Roman Catholic Church can still put on a good show. I went to Easter Vigil at St. Matthew's last night, and it was worth the crowds and the uncomfortably warm temperature inside. All the pews were filled up by twenty after seven, and the seats in the side chapels by seven thirty. The Mass started promptly at eight, with the cathedral in darkness, except for the light from flames outside the church doors. I couldn't see the actual fire from where I sat, just the flickering light, until a single candle was brought up the center aisle. The light from this candle quickly spread as each person lit his own candle, so that each person was a light in the darkness.
Father Caulfield sang the Exsultet, and that was just beautiful. He's a good priest, but I am starting to wonder if he was hired just because of his voice. I was wondering earlier in the day why Christmas has so much music associated with it, but Easter doesn't, but it's probably because Easter is different. It's an occasion for rejoicing, true, but it's also a much more solemn holiday, and the Exsultet conveys that sense of awe (and Father Caulfield sounded better than the version here). My only quibble here was that it was in modern English, which doesn't quite convey the gravitas as well, but not every Mass can be in Latin. Although I wish more of the Mass was, since the Vigil was a mix of English and Spanish (and after reading the latest Catholic Standard, I'm wondering whether my views on the immigration issue make me a bad Catholic).
There's a moment in the Vigil Mass when the resurrection is proclaimed, and it gave me a visceral thrill. The church is suddenly filled with golden light, as all the candles are lit as bells ring and the music of the pipe organ washes over the congregation while the Gloria is sung. What a moment.
Cardinal McCarrick's homily was short, because of the number of people coming into the Church ("This is going to take a few minutes," he deadpanned), but the Mass kept moving, even through the Litany of the saints. They didn't call on all 10,000 saints, but they managed to invoke a good number of them.
The music in general was terrific, and luckily St. Matthew's has a great music ministry. The recessional was another favorite Easter song, "Jesus Christ is Risen Today", sung in both English and Spanish. That was followed immediately by Haendel's Hallelujah Chorus - another great performance by the choir.
More thoughts in the comments on the same Mass.
Some people may have seen Vatican II as a chance to modernize and update everything, but last night's Vigil showed that tradition still has the power to move.
Happy Easter.
Father Caulfield sang the Exsultet, and that was just beautiful. He's a good priest, but I am starting to wonder if he was hired just because of his voice. I was wondering earlier in the day why Christmas has so much music associated with it, but Easter doesn't, but it's probably because Easter is different. It's an occasion for rejoicing, true, but it's also a much more solemn holiday, and the Exsultet conveys that sense of awe (and Father Caulfield sounded better than the version here). My only quibble here was that it was in modern English, which doesn't quite convey the gravitas as well, but not every Mass can be in Latin. Although I wish more of the Mass was, since the Vigil was a mix of English and Spanish (and after reading the latest Catholic Standard, I'm wondering whether my views on the immigration issue make me a bad Catholic).
There's a moment in the Vigil Mass when the resurrection is proclaimed, and it gave me a visceral thrill. The church is suddenly filled with golden light, as all the candles are lit as bells ring and the music of the pipe organ washes over the congregation while the Gloria is sung. What a moment.
Cardinal McCarrick's homily was short, because of the number of people coming into the Church ("This is going to take a few minutes," he deadpanned), but the Mass kept moving, even through the Litany of the saints. They didn't call on all 10,000 saints, but they managed to invoke a good number of them.
The music in general was terrific, and luckily St. Matthew's has a great music ministry. The recessional was another favorite Easter song, "Jesus Christ is Risen Today", sung in both English and Spanish. That was followed immediately by Haendel's Hallelujah Chorus - another great performance by the choir.
More thoughts in the comments on the same Mass.
Some people may have seen Vatican II as a chance to modernize and update everything, but last night's Vigil showed that tradition still has the power to move.
Happy Easter.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
So why is morale at DHS in the toilet? Not a bad rundown here. See, personnel selections DO matter.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
In related news, National Interfraternity Council to launch space exploration program.
Highlight of today's Federal Diary Live:
"But I would not be surprised if retirements accelerate. FEMA's image has taken a battering because of Katrina, primarily because of poor leadership by the political appointees. Many parts of DHS continue to suffer the mega-merger pains, even though March 2003 should be a distant memory by now. A government-wide survey suggested that DHS was No. 29 out of 30 on most morale-related questions. From my perspective, this means that Secretary Chertoff needs to make sure his top people are paying attention to employee concerns and morale; otherwise, the department may face a serious retention problem."
My own morale is actually pretty good, considering all the uncertainty about the future. Another article in the Post talks about the coming new personnel system, and that brings up something I find really irritating. No, not the personnel system, since in the end one system is probably pretty much like any other (although ask me again in a year or so to see whether I still have the same opinion). It's the term "Human Capital". Here's a news flash to those people who keep trying to come up with new terms for the same old thing - whatever they call the personnel office is not going to affect my self-esteem as an employee. Calling it "Human Capital" or "Human Resources" doesn't make me feel like a treasured asset. It makes me feel like the powers that be are labelling me as "human" to identify who to replace with a machine later.
I just wonder who number 30 is.
UPDATE: The Small Business Administration? Who knew? OMB is the best place to work, and State Department is number ten. Maybe it's time to reconsider my career choices. I hear they need people at the visa windows in Paris.
"But I would not be surprised if retirements accelerate. FEMA's image has taken a battering because of Katrina, primarily because of poor leadership by the political appointees. Many parts of DHS continue to suffer the mega-merger pains, even though March 2003 should be a distant memory by now. A government-wide survey suggested that DHS was No. 29 out of 30 on most morale-related questions. From my perspective, this means that Secretary Chertoff needs to make sure his top people are paying attention to employee concerns and morale; otherwise, the department may face a serious retention problem."
My own morale is actually pretty good, considering all the uncertainty about the future. Another article in the Post talks about the coming new personnel system, and that brings up something I find really irritating. No, not the personnel system, since in the end one system is probably pretty much like any other (although ask me again in a year or so to see whether I still have the same opinion). It's the term "Human Capital". Here's a news flash to those people who keep trying to come up with new terms for the same old thing - whatever they call the personnel office is not going to affect my self-esteem as an employee. Calling it "Human Capital" or "Human Resources" doesn't make me feel like a treasured asset. It makes me feel like the powers that be are labelling me as "human" to identify who to replace with a machine later.
I just wonder who number 30 is.
UPDATE: The Small Business Administration? Who knew? OMB is the best place to work, and State Department is number ten. Maybe it's time to reconsider my career choices. I hear they need people at the visa windows in Paris.
Highlight of today's Federal Diary Live:
"But I would not be surprised if retirements accelerate. FEMA's image has taken a battering because of Katrina, primarily because of poor leadership by the political appointees. Many parts of DHS continue to suffer the mega-merger pains, even though March 2003 should be a distant memory by now. A government-wide survey suggested that DHS was No. 29 out of 30 on most morale-related questions. From my perspective, this means that Secretary Chertoff needs to make sure his top people are paying attention to employee concerns and morale; otherwise, the department may face a serious retention problem."
My own morale is actually pretty good, considering all the uncertainty about the future. Another article in the Post talks about the coming new system, and that brings up something I find really irritating. No, not the personnel system, since in the end one system is probably pretty much like any other (although ask me again in a year or so to see whether I still have the same opinion). It's the term "Human Capital". Here's a news flash to those people who keep trying to come up with new terms for the same old thing - whatever they call the personnel office is not going to affect my self-esteem as an employee. Calling it "Human Capital" or "Human Resources" doesn't make me feel like a treasured asset. It makes me feel like the powers that be are labelling me as "human" to identify who to replace with machines later.
I just wonder who number 30 is.
UPDATE: The Small Business Administration? Who knew? OMB is the best place to work, and State Department is number ten. Maybe it's time to reconsider my career choices. I hear they need people at the visa windows in Paris.
"But I would not be surprised if retirements accelerate. FEMA's image has taken a battering because of Katrina, primarily because of poor leadership by the political appointees. Many parts of DHS continue to suffer the mega-merger pains, even though March 2003 should be a distant memory by now. A government-wide survey suggested that DHS was No. 29 out of 30 on most morale-related questions. From my perspective, this means that Secretary Chertoff needs to make sure his top people are paying attention to employee concerns and morale; otherwise, the department may face a serious retention problem."
My own morale is actually pretty good, considering all the uncertainty about the future. Another article in the Post talks about the coming new system, and that brings up something I find really irritating. No, not the personnel system, since in the end one system is probably pretty much like any other (although ask me again in a year or so to see whether I still have the same opinion). It's the term "Human Capital". Here's a news flash to those people who keep trying to come up with new terms for the same old thing - whatever they call the personnel office is not going to affect my self-esteem as an employee. Calling it "Human Capital" or "Human Resources" doesn't make me feel like a treasured asset. It makes me feel like the powers that be are labelling me as "human" to identify who to replace with machines later.
I just wonder who number 30 is.
UPDATE: The Small Business Administration? Who knew? OMB is the best place to work, and State Department is number ten. Maybe it's time to reconsider my career choices. I hear they need people at the visa windows in Paris.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
DHS does itself proud. Again.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
