Adventures in Bureaucracy
Monday, March 29, 2004
 
Boomer Deathwatch... Because one day, they'll all be dead. (via Relapsed Catholic)
 
 
Springtime in Washington, including pictures from the new World War II memorial on the Mall, from INDC Journal. It's enough to make one want to call in sick and spend an afternoon wandering around beneath the blossoms... and those with allergies won't even need to fake an illness. Not that I would do that, mind you, as I am dedicated to my job.
 
Sunday, March 28, 2004
 
It's official - the scandal of the UN's Oil for Food program cannot be pinned on me:

"Those at the centre of suspicion are not lowly bureaucrats but a tight cluster of high-up insiders centred on the office, family and inner circle of Secretary-General Kofi Annan himself."

Obviously I've been working for the wrong bureaucracy all these years.
 
Saturday, March 13, 2004
 
Another clever idea from Japan. Beats having them declawed. The cats, I mean, not the Japanese.
 
 
Ah, Washington. There's so much to see and do here. Which is good, because it's really, really tough to get out of the city.
 
Friday, March 12, 2004
 
"Shooting French in a barrel."
 
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
 
Rude Pravo reviewed "The Lord of the Rings" in 1977. I wonder if Pravda or Izvestiya ever had anything to say on the book.
 
Monday, March 08, 2004
 
Lesson One:
"Ecoutez et repitez: francais est ma langue preferee."

Actually, the interesting part is not that 69 per cent want to do business in English, but that of the rest, more wanted to do business in German than in French. The Habsburgs shall rise again! (via Merde in France)
 
Thursday, March 04, 2004
 
Why can I never leave a contest unentered? But it involved books, and perhaps my all-time favorite book is "1066 and All That" by W.C. Sellar and R.J. Yeatman. At least at this site I can use more than twenty-five words to talk about it.

"1066 and All That" gives you all the British history you can remember, as you remember it. Or at least, as you would remember it if you had gone to a public school back when Britain was Top Nation and you had had a proper education. The book perfectly captures the attitudes of the time when the British were known for their stiff upper lips and not for soccer hooligans.

There's a website with the first chapters of the book on line. Have a look.

Some of my favorite parts:

"CHAPTER I: Caesar Invades Britain
The first date* in English History is 55 b.c., in which year Julius Caesar (the memorable Roman Emperor) landed, like all other successful invaders of these islands, at Thanet. This was in the Olden Days, when the Romans were top nation on account of their classical education, etc.
*For the other date see Chapter 11, William the Conqueror

Julius Caesar advanced very energetically, throwing his cavalry several thousands of paces over the River Flumen; but the Ancient Britons, though all well over military age, painted themselves true blue, or wood, and fought as heroically under their dashing queen, Woadicea, as they did later in thin red lines under their good queen, Victoria.

Julius Caesar was therefore compelled to invade Britain again the following year (54 b.c., not 56, owing to the peculiar Roman method of counting), and having defeated the Ancient Britons by unfair means, such as battering-rams, tortoises, hippocausts, centipedes, axes, and bundles, set the memorable Latin sentence, 'Veni, Vidi, Vici', which the Romans, who were all very well educated, construed correctly.

The Britons, however, who of course still used the old pronunciation, understanding him to have called them 'Weeny, Weedy, and Weaky', lost heart and gave up the struggle, thinking that he had already divided them All into Three Parts."

***

"CHAPTER 3: The Conversion of England
Noticing some fair-haired children in the slave market one morning, Pope Gregory, the memorable Pope, said (in Latin), 'What are those ?' and on being told that they were Angels, made the memorable joke — 'Non Angli, sed Angeli' ('not Angels, but Anglicans') and commanded one of his Saints called St Augustine to go and convert the rest."

***

"Alfred noticed that the Danes had very long ships, so he built a great many more much longer ones, thus cleverly founding the British Navy. From that time onwards foreigners, who, unlike the English, do not prefer to fight against long odds, seldom attacked the British Navy. Hence the important International Law called the Rule Britannia, technically known as the Freedom of the Seas."
 
 
"Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity (as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of 'kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and doesn't answer to the name Mohammed')."

I see another wave of anti-Coulterism breaking out soon.

 
Monday, March 01, 2004
 
It's the first birthday of the Department of Homeland Security, and nothing says "celebration" like an interminable staff meeting. We took stock of what our little section has accomplished in the past year and discussed what the future holds (where most of the questions focused on the impending new personnel system, and most of the answers were "Nobody knows yet").

In honor of the event, I've tried to find the best quotes from DHS Secretary Tom Ridge:

"America itself is a product of innovation - an ideal born and emboldened, preserved and protected by our founding fathers and generations before us; an ideal that continues to stand as a beacon of freedom and hope to the rest of the world."

"We can’t quit being America as we go about being alert and attentive to the possibility of terrorist attack."

"I've got the power to do the job because the president wants the job done, that's all the power I need."

"That's what leaders do. They challenge the moment. They do great things together. They "become the change they want to see in the world.""

"Washington can be expected to lead, but we cannot, nor should not, micro-manage the protection of an entire nation. Instead, it must be a priority in every city, every neighborhood, and every home across America."

"Do I have an issue with American private citizens traveling to enemy countries to help with infrastructure, finances, education, security and then returning to the United States? You bet!"

"Make... no mistake about it, we're still at war."

I'll admit he's no Donald "Have you killed anyone yet?" Rumsfeld, but Ridge tends to respond to questions with loads of explanation instead of one-liners.

Hmmm. Maybe I should change the name of this space to "Adventures in Sycophancy".

Nah, a true sycophant wouldn't write anonymously.
 
Personal comments, opinions and observations from someone stuck inside the Capital Beltway.

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